diamond in the rough: searching for the light within

Nick Vujicic

2008-11-20T17:12:00.000-08:00

He was born limbless, missing both arms at shoulder level, and having one small foot with two toes protruding from his left thigh. Life could not have been easy for him. There was a point in time when he even contemplated suicide - at the young age of 9 (or 10). For many people, they would have given up on life altogether.

And yet, Nick managed to pull himself away from the abyss of despair and get on with life. Today, he has learned to accept himself as he is and tries his best to live life to the fullest.

A quick search on the Internet reveals articles and YouTube videos about Nick with countless comments based mostly on two extremes:

a) Those who believe that God made Nick this way for a greater purpose and that it is through the grace and work of God that Nick has found joy and purpose in life despite his limitations and has become an inspiration to many others; and

b) Those who think all the above is just a load of bullshit and that if there were to be a God, He wouldn't have made Nick this way and would have instead gave him a normal body and a wholesome life all in one

Frankly speaking, I don't really care whether or not God is involved in Nick's physical limitations. And I am not concerned at all who or what it is that has kept Nick going on all these years.

But the fact of the matter is he has. He has managed to overcome so many difficulties and obstacles in life. He has continued living on with a strong and positive attitude towards life despite his limitations.

And not everyone can do that when faced with the same situation. I, for one, would have probably given up in a split second. So the fact that he can and that he has - is that not the most amazing and inspiring thing ever?

Moving on

2008-11-17T08:26:00.001-08:00

The first two posts were written with a touch of melancholy in them and they dreadfully lacked the enthusiasm and vigor in life that a 22-year old should have. It may seem fine to others. But as someone who has been reading for years I am able to read the mood and emotion of the author in his/her work and I sounded decidedly dead.

I started this blog at a time when I was feeling not so positive in life and I was hoping to find a salvation of sorts by doing something more proactive. Hence, this blog. But looking back, it looked more like a process where I was merely going through the motions to convince myself that life is not as bad as I thought.

Thus, I have been reluctant to post anything here as I felt that I needed more time to compose myself. Further I have yet to figure out what style of writing to adopt for this blog. Should it be more informal and chatty? Or should I try to be more journalistic and more impartial? Three weeks down the line, I am still not sure.

In the beginning, I was brimming with ideas of what I was going to talk about. But now, I am somehow stumped as to how to go about with this blog.

On the bright side, I have, one way or another, gotten back part of my zest for life and I am definitely not lifeless as I was when I first started a few weeks back.

So here's another tiny step in my life - moving on...

ps: I promise I will be true to the objective of this blog and post something consequential soon!!!

Prologue: To nurture

2008-10-27T08:29:00.000-07:00

Another reason for this blog is to nurture and develop my skills as a photographer. I have always been fascinated with art and all things beautiful. Yet I do not possess that special talent to make a career out of it.

I am better than some in drawing but certainly not good enough to be an artist. I took art lessons when I was younger but as with a lot of pursuits in my life so far, I had abandoned it and left it hanging nowhere after a while. It has always been a regret that I did not make drawing and painting a more serious pursuit. Perhaps then I would have another outlet with which to express my feelings and illustrate the way I see life.

A few years back, I became interested in photography and how a simple photograph can convey so many things to different people. A beautifully taken picture is capable of saying a thousand words. And I had hoped to be able to capture life's beautiful moments to be shared with all. But alas, in between my A Level and Law degree, I had not been able to find time to sit down properly and concentrate in exploring the wonders of photography. As recent as last year, I was even thinking of getting a DSLR camera. But considering the fact that I might not have the time to really get into it, I'd decided to defer the purchase. If only I'd actually bought it - I have a friend who showed an interest in photography around the same time as I do and now she is building up a wedding portfolio with her nice SLR camera.

Yes, I do realise that a lot of times things do not get done due to my own faults: I procrastinate too much, I lack determination and a strong will, and I always drag my feet doing something (even things that I enjoy doing). A lot of things in my life could have been very different if I had persevere in pursuing the things I like. I am sure that these fatal flaws will eventually be my downfall one day but hopefully now is not too late to rectify this inherent nature of mine. Let's hope for the best, shall we?

Oh, and I am hoping to improve my photo-editing skills too! *smiles*

Prologue: To revive

2008-10-25T11:33:00.000-07:00

So why do I start a new blog when I already have an active personal blog? Because I hope to revive love for reading and writing through this blog. Reading and writing have always been my passions. Perhaps it was due to the fact that I am good in little else. I was never an athlete and I never had the chance to take up any musical instruments. As a child, I took pride in the fact that I read more than my peers and my style of writing was distinct from theirs.

I used to read everyday. Newspapers, children's books, mystery novels, romance, comics, Japanese manga, magazines - anything interesting that I could get my hands on. Reading has always been a form of escapism where I can explore a whole new different world and become someone else. It was my source of comfort during those stressful pre-exam periods. It was my source of knowledge. It was my favourite past time.

Sad to say, though, I have been reading less and less. In the past, whenever I bought a new book I could not wait to get my hands on it. Often times, I would read well into the night until Mum came knocking on my door to tell me to sleep. But in recent years, I just felt too tired and weary to start on a new book. Perhaps I have become so tired of worrying about my studies and my future that I could not be bothered. Or perhaps my passion had died away. But either way, I hope to pick up reading once more as it was, and will always be, my first love.

Reading as much as I did helped me in many ways to master my command of English and improve my writing. Writing was as natural to me as breathing. The moment I picked up the pen, I could conjure up a story of at least four pages long (approximately 5000 words). This was considered a lot at a time when the minimum word limit for my essays in high school was only 1500. During that period of time, I had even dreamed of being an author.

But as I grow older, the demands of life and practicality took precedence. I am not as good as a lot of other people out there. I do not have that unique a style compared to others. Most of the things I wrote can only be termed 'literary nonsense'. So why would I succeed when those who are more talented have failed? Coupled with the small wonders of tertiary education and living in the city, I find myself neglecting and abandoning these pursuits.

Over the years, there had been half-hearted attempts to revive that fire in me but I was not determined enough. Nor was I committed enough. I started a blog in 2006 to maintain and improve my writing but that had only lasted a mere ten posts. Subsequently in November that year, I challenged myself in the annual Nanowrimo but I gave up after repeatedly going back over what I wrote and not making much progress - which totally defeated the purpose of the event itself.

Come 2007, I guess I had somehow forgotten about my dream and love for writing. Generally, there was nothing life changing or interesting in life from then till now. I had merely drifted aimlessly to wherever life would lead me. Now, nearing the end of 2008, I am shocked to find that my flair for writing has abandoned me. No longer can I write anything more significant or interesting than my daily life and even that is starting to fail me as I have pretty much let life passed me by.

I have always done things half-heartedly and am never focused enough on what I hope to achieve in life. I gave up way too easily at the first signs of uncertainty and difficulty. Even the tiny hope of maybe publishing my own book one day after my life has settled down financially has slowly gave way to owning a small bookstore-cum-cafe - because the later is much more attainable than the former. But how would I ever know if I'd never tried? Maybe I will not be a full-fledged published author. Maybe I will not even own that bookstore.

But perhaps, something else will come out of this venture. If nothing else, at least, I am once again doing something that I enjoy and it can provide solace when I am tired of fighting to survive in the real world. Reading and writing gives me an outlet to escape, even for a while, the harsh realities of the world.

While my other blog is a personal one filled with nonsensical antidotes of my daily life and random musings, I hope this blog will be more focused in delivering something more substantial than that and allow myself to find back my flair for writing.